on health and shiving

5 08 2009

So this is the equivalent to if I asked for ice cream, and LHA sent me a Pomeranian.


Today’s prompt: I’ve listed two obscure words below, along with some etymology and definition from the online Oxford English Dictionary. Your assignment, if you choose to accept it, is to write a riff on one or both words, or figure out a way to incorporate whatever you’re writing.

TO SHIVE: “[f. SHIVE n.1 Cf. ON. skífa.] trans. To cut (bread) into slices.
1570 LEVINS Manip. 152/39 To shiue, dissecare. 1629 GAULE Holy Madn. 343 He shiues out his Bread by weight or measure.

DWALE: [In sense 1, a variant of DWELE n., = OE. *dwela, dweola, dwola, dwala, error, heresy, madness; in sense 2 app. aphetic for OE. {asg}edweola, -dwola, etc. error, heresy, madness, also heretic, deceiver; f. ablaut-series dwel-, dwal-, dwol-: see DWELL v. Cf. OE. dwol- in comb. ‘erring, heretical’, and Goth. dwals ‘foolish’.]

I think I should start off by admitting that I just googled “riff” because I didn’t actually know what she meant just then. LHA: 1, Summer: 0. Also… it took me far too long to figure out what WFMAD stood for. I was like “Woman in the Forest… comma… MAD?”

*facepalm* (It stands for Write Fifteen Minutes A Day, for those of you riding my bus.)

So this first word is a bit of a challenge, because I mean… WHEN would I need to slice bread? Isn’t sliced bread itself the GREATEST THING EVER? So great in fact, that we always refer to new great things as the “greatest thing SINCE sliced bread” because clearly the new thing CAN’T BEAT pre-sliced bread? So really, anyone still shiving has clearly missed the most revered invention of our time. It’s like people who don’t use wikipedia. Speaking of sliced bread though, I had toast this morning for breakfast.

This is worth mentioning, because I never actually prepare breakfast. I usually have either a Nutrigrain bar I grab out of the cabinet on my way out the door, or three vanilla bean scones at Starbucks. (BTW, those scones are AMAZING. I’m obsessed with them. If you’ve never had the vanilla bean scones at Starbucks, you are missing out big time. You are basically still shiving while the rest of us are using that precious slicing time to do things like stick the bread in the toaster and spread butter on it. Did I kill that metaphor yet?) And the toast was amazing! I also had a glass of orange juice with it, which is worth mentioning because my mom reads this blog. Hi Mom! I drink orange juice! I’m healthy!

In other food related news, I learned two days ago that if a recipe says “melt butter in pan with garlic powder and then add pasta” that is NOT the same as “melt butter in pan and then add garlic powder and pasta.” Raw garlic powder is disgusting. And that’s coming from me who went through a container of garlic powder in 2 months. I’m fairly certain it’s still coming out of my pores.

Anyway, the garlic butter pasta recipe is right here and it’s actually amazing when you make it correctly.

Oh and I didn’t use the second word: dwale. Oh well. That’s what LHA gets for not giving me ice cream.



2 responses

6 08 2009

You know, someone who openly admits to a love affair with Top Ramen should probably eschew making recommendations for any noodle-related recipes. Just a thought. 😉

On a side note, I ate mashed potatoes the other night that were clearly made with garlic powder instead of the real stuff. Way to ruin a meal. If you’re too lazy to prep it fresh, at least spring for a jar of crushed garlic, people! Sheesh!

Oh, and I’ve never actually used the word “eschew” before. Your post was inspirational.

6 08 2009

Good job with the O.J.!

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