i’m so glad i didn’t use wordpress back then

1 06 2009

So recently I was looking through the blog (a XANGA, lol) that I held all through high school, and wow… I was so annoying. Really. I can’t even read most of it without flinching and wanting to die. Thankfully, about 5 years ago I went through and privatized most of it, so none of you can access it, even if you tried. I constantly get mad at myself for never keeping a journal, but obviously that’s what the internet is for, and as I’m so self absorbed, I only enjoy writing when there is a possibility that other people will read it. And then hopefully years later I realize how much of a douche I am and go back and privatize it. But some parts are worth sharing, if only for the lulz-factor.


For EXAMPLE, here is a classic myspace style self-portrait, the likes of which appeared on the blog all the time. Don't you want to get to KNOW this girl? Don't you want to slap her across the face?

For EXAMPLE, here is a classic myspace style self-portrait, the likes of which appeared on the blog all the time. Don't you want to get to KNOW this girl? Don't you want to slap her across the face?

If that isn’t textbook I’m16andI’mbothwellreadandinsecure, I don’t know what is. And then I came across this little Pulitzer worthy post I wrote on April 3, 2003:

Doesn’t anyone ever get what they deserve? Do they?
Where’s my medals, awards, and trophies? Cause you know I fucking deserve some.
How can people be SO BLIND? They hurt so much harder than they’ll ever know.
One day you look around, and it’s seventh grade again.
I remember why I left that shithole. But it follows me today, and always will.
Loneliness is not the scariest thing in the world. The scariest thing in the world is being with your best friends and realizing how lonely you still are.

HAHAHAHHAHAHA WTF am I even talking about? Oh teen angst, how I do not miss you at all. And subject verb agreement FAIL in that second line, SUMMERcirca2003.

And then it’s great searching the archives because then Fall 2003 arrives and it’s like the tulips blooming in spring and every single post turns into a love song for Seth Cohen. Because of course I was obsessed with The OC and Adam Brody. OF COURSE I WAS. And in one of my “I LOVE SETH COHEN AND WILL MARRY HIM EVEN THOUGH HE’S A CHARACTER ON A TV SHOW AND I’M NOT ACTUALLY INSANE” blogs, one of my friends commented with this:

“summer, now r u actually falling for that seth cohen guy? cause im starting to get worried that ur getting really obsessed with him? u know if u really want a bf or somethin, i got a neighbor boy right across the street from me. yea, i spy on him all the time! but thats a diff story i guess.”

I find it hilarious that she thought obsessively spying on a real person was somehow healthier than obsessing over a TV star.

I also wrote some horrible poetry, complained about how much my life sucked, and constantly quoted Led Zeppelin songs, if you can believe it.

Oh SUMMERcirca2003, I wish I could write you a letter. In fact, I think I will:

Dear SUMMERcirca2003,

Chill. You’ll move to California (and later the east coast) and everything will be fine, trust me. Listen to a little top 40, watch a movie that isn’t up for Best Picture, and buy yourself a pretty dress. Oh, and read Catcher in the Rye, because judging from your “poetry” you’d probably enjoy it then way more than I do now.

Your future,



2 responses

1 06 2009

I get a good laugh out of reading your posts. Oh, and I fully support obsessing over fictional characters, regardless of your age…..

Hey, am I to understand by your twitter posts that you’ve read Catching Fire?!?!?

4 06 2009

I HATE the livejournal I kept in high school. I tried to read it like junior year but couldn’t do it. It was so terrible. To make it worse, somehow Bryce from OXY found out and read the WHOLE THING! He had a crush on me sophomore year and took it upon himself then to get to know me better. I didn’t care at the time because I hadn’t actually read it in 2 years. But trying to read it later, I almost passed out. The first 2 years were me obsessing over Trevor Penick from O-Town and crying because I hate living in VA and all my friends are stupid and don’t get me. The following 2 years were me obsessing over John Mayer.

I don’t think I ever wrote poetry and I am too lazy to privatize things, though I probably should. Especially if I ever become a reality star or president… you know I don’t want that to come back and haunt me!

My love for Penick/ Mayer was SO great, that my friends to THIS DAY believe that I haven’t had a boyfriend because I am secretly harboring this unrequited love for John Mayer. I promise you that isn’t the case. I am 23 years old for God’s sake! I don’t have a boyfriend because I am in love with Nick Jonas! Screw John Mayer!

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