as if i have something better to do

12 09 2008

AKA Live Blogging of the First (2-hour-long) Episode of ANTM cycle 11:

Okay this shit is two hours? What the hell? I’m just going to leave this window open and comment as I watch it.

1. SHEENA! She was who I was dying to talk about. Sheena. OMG.
2. The screams are so hilarious. I wonder if at any point in the show the Jays come out and the screams aren’t loud enough, so the producers tell them to do their entrance again.
3. I’m sorry. It is not EVERY girl’s dream to meet the Jays. They aren’t the Jonas Brothers.
4. There is a 2001 Space Odyssey fan here? Is she lost?
5. Is it scary that I’m seeing similarities between these girls’ competition attitudes and the general election?
6. 3 minutes and 30 seconds in and I’ve already heard the word “ghetto.” I’m excited.
7. Wait… this just registered… are they SERIOUSLY back in LA? This is a backwards step, Tyra.
8. Wait… Alaska girl is wearing a headband. BLAIR WALDORF POINTS! BLAIR WALDORF POINTS!
9. Okay the graphics are officially hilarious.
10. And “system overload”? That voice sounded like Tyra! OMG IS SHE GOING TO POP OUT?!?! Why are they screaming?
11. I KNEW IT.
12. “and I thought… Tyra’s so HOT!” okay “hot” was so not the word I would choose. She looks scary as hell.
13. Okay Sheena’s expression at “America’s Next Top Martian” was great. Who writes this stuff?
14. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA. Okay the beaming up. That was classic. I wish I was in the room when they told the girls to get out their acting chops and pretend they had disappeared.
15. Okay seriously… are they in a Dan Flavin exhibit or something?
16. OMG ANALEIGH FIGURE SKATED??!??!!? SOLD!
17. Tyra, I don’t even know what’s up with your hair.
18. Marjorie’s outfit is made of win. Seriously.
19. First episode and Tyra’s already butchering a language!
20. “My French is good when I’m in France” HAHAHAHA I totally thought she was going to say “… when I’m drunk.”
21. Nude scene? Please. This isn’t Australia’s Next Top Model.
22. Okay Clark is reminding me of someone and I cannot figure out who it is.
23. Yeah, she really does look like Kimora Lee.
24. Okay… Harlem. SHE’S LIVED IN HARLEM FOR LIKE TWO YEARS! Why does everyone from Hawaii pretend they are from NY? Will that be me in 2 years?
25. I really don’t understand the rules for plus size modeling. She’s about as big as Sarah, no?
26. Okay why is everyone talking about ethnic/gender issues? That’s great but why is no one lap dancing? Why is no one rapping? Why is no one insane? Why are people acting like humans? That’s not why I watch this show.
27. LOVE the Alaskan paper girl! Her name is now Hannah Alaska (not Montana)! Too bad Sarah Palin wasn’t there to get rid of the rogue moose.
28. Okay… it’s no secret that I love accents. But did you know that I love southern accents? Okay I think you did, actually. I LOVE JOSLYN’S ACCENT!
29. KRISTIN CAVALLARI! Clark reminds me of Kristin Cavallari.
30. I was NOT going to go THAT red. Just for the record.
31. SUSAN HARVARD GIRL! ENGLISH MAJOR REPPP. wait.. what did she just say?
32. Okay… she didn’t pay attention in her LITERATURE classes at all? or she didn’t pay attention in her ENGLISH literature classes (because she preferred the American literature)? I can excuse the latter… discussing the Brontes for the 8th time can be hell, but the former?
33. Okay she just… blanked? These people should never go for interviews. I wouldn’t hire them.
34. 1. Sasha Pivovarova, 2. Gemma Ward, 3. Jessica Stam, 4. Caroline Trentini, 5. Lily Cole (COME ONNNN!!! PEOPLE)
35. Okay why did Tyra just give a speech? I mean, yeah, the girl’s an idiot, but… MORE DANCING… MORE HILARITY… LESS SERIOUSNESS.
36. Nikeysha has a Saleisha haircut… on purpose?
37. I haven’t read Call of the Wild or White Fang either. Has everyone else?
38. Sheena… class? They clearly haven’t seen the pictures of her go-go dancing.
39. Okay. I want to be Analeigh’s bff.
40. YES Marjorie. Black tights AGAIN! You are getting serious Summer points.
41. Okay… no putting the underwear on your face. Please. Never again.
42. HANNAH ALASKA! Yo, she’s awesome too.
43. Analeigh and Hannah Alaska were my favorite from the interviews! YAY!
44. WE DON’T HAVE BILLBOARDS EITHER, HANNAH ALASKA!
45. Sheena is either going to be fantastic, or I’m going to want to punch her in the face.
46. WHY LA AGAIN? WHY?
47. She can’t go to her graduation? Woodland Hills is basically IN Los Angeles.
48. Okay the “14 lucky bitches” line… was great.
49. Why the shot of the snail? Why?
50. I am amazed at how much Isis looks like a woman body-wise. She must have had hormone shots? They haven’t talked about that. Either that or she was a tiny man.
51. When the elevator started moving behind McKey, that freaked the SHIT out of me.
52. Who said the butterfly line?
53. OMG I USED TO REALLY WANT TO GO THE MAGIC CASTLE!
54. Paulina, I liked you better without bangs.
55. OMG Joslyn’s acting. I love her.
56. Ohhh Marjorie is so nervous!!! HAHAHA I do love how she ended with “you?”
57. TYRA HAS HAD MANY OF THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES ON THE TYRA BANKS TALK SHOW???
58. HAHAHAHA Sam is kind of growing on me.
59. “It’s almost like you’re fightin’ for the environment!” Jay, I love you.
60. Ugh… making fun of Isis DURING HER SHOOT is very not cool.
61. “Am I really that hoochy? I need a mirror.” LOL
62. Please tell me Sharaun is gone.
63. MILEY CYRUS!!!! HELLS TO THE YEAH!!!!!
64. Love the outfit, Marjorie. PRODUCERS, STOP PLAYING FRENCH MUSIC WHENEVER WE SEE HER.
65. Love the black widow/ red web, Paulina.
66. Dude, Elina photographs REALLY well.
67. Tyra, the headband is awesome, shut up. Hannah, I love Gossip Girl too!
68. Sheena is great.
69. Tyra in half red/ half blue. I kind of want to make that my background.
70. Okay I almost cried when Marjorie got her name called. She looked SO surprised!
71. Hey Sharaun, ain’t karma a bitch? We all know Clark is.
72. I just went to the wikipedia page for this cycle to see what they knew about the girls, and I found out where the international location is! Damn. Now I can’t guess!

Top 5
Analeigh, Hannah, Joslyn, Brittany, Marjorie

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One response

18 09 2008
Katie O

ok, so I didn’t even watch this episode and I find this blog completely hilarious!! ps hows the east coast going??

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