Now, I LOVE Alexis Bledel. Probably a bit too much. In fact, I’ve probably said on occasion that I would pay money to watch her eat a sandwich, which is probably why the gods conspired against me to make Post-Grad the WORST MOVIE EVER. Wow. Here are some things I thought about while watching this horrible movie:
1. I wish I were watching Gilmore Girls.
2. How did they get Jane Lynch wrapped into this?
3. Is there seriously a 15+ year age gap between Alexis and her brother?
4. Or is that Alexis’s character’s son and Jane Lynch is just raising him?
5. I can’t believe I spent 12 dollars on this.
6. I’d rather be watching (500) Days of Summer again.
7. I’d rather be watching Bandslam again.
8. I’d rather be watching anything else in the world but this movie.
9. Damn, it’s after 11pm, and we’ll have to take the PATH through Hoboken.
10. The best thing about this movie are the pretzel chips I’m currently eating.
11. Did I just fall asleep?
I honestly don’t even know what happened with this movie. It started off with Rory (I think she had a different name in this movie, but really, who cares) posting a video blog (YAY!) on her myspace (kill me now), and it basically went downhill from there. I mean, this movie is pretty much my life story, minus the whole “hooking up with your Brazilian neighbor for no apparent reason” thing and the “man I wish this annoying kid I’ve known forever wasn’t in love with me because it’s major inconvenient” plotline. But then of course she falls in love with Mr. guitar-carrying-should-I-go-to-law-school-or-stay-home-and-continue-to-mack-on-my-best-friend and decides to fly to NYC (probably a good career move for her, considering she wants to work in PUBLISHING) to live with him (in his dorm room, I’m guessing… who is she, Lane?), just because she “misses” him. YOU MISS HIM? Call him on the effing phone, woman.
Seriously, considering this movie is about a girl who graduated from college with a degree in English and who wants to work in the publishing industry but can’t seem to get a job (why hello, me!), this movie could have been fantastic. I mean, we could have had a scene where Rory spends three hours printing out her resume in 15 different fonts and forces people to rate them, or we could have watched her stumble through an interview that ends with her saying that her favorite book of all time is The Unbearable Likeness of Seeing by Milan Kundera, only to come home and find out that it’s actually called The Unbearable Lightness of Being and well, that’s what happens when you try to class up your “currently reading” list from vampire romances and Sarah Dessen novels.
I mean, HELLO, if that isn’t MTV Movie Award winning material I don’t know what is. But this movie was so awkward, with parts of it trying to be Little Miss Sunshine “We’re a weird family!” and one scene where Rory has a breakdown in a luggage store that I would say is on par with everyone’s favorite poor little rich Orange County girl throwing the lawn furniture in the pool. Also, I think they killed a cat and tried to make it funny. I’m not even an animal person (aka last week at work a woman asked me for books for adults on “coping with the loss of a pet” and I definitely raised my eyebrows when she wasn’t looking), and I found that scene painful.
Basically, I saw Bandslam last weekend, and by that I mean the high school flick about a battle of the bands starring Aly of Aly and AJ and Vanessa “We’re Breaking Free” Hudgens, and it was better than Post-Grad.
Also, how did Rory manage to intern at both Random House and Penguin without going to New York?