This post has nothing to do with the Series of Unfortunate Events book of the same name, but I LOVE the word penultimate and I do not get to use it often. As this is my second to last post of BEDA, it seemed like a good time.
A LIST OF THINGS I’M AFRAID OF:
1. Balloons. Now I’m not afraid of them like I think they have minds of their own, or that they are going to follow me home or anything. I just hate when they pop. A lot. This hatred of them popping has turned into a legitimate fear of balloons. I avoid them at ALL costs. You know those huge balloon arches? I never go through them. I try to look away from the balloons and count to ten if they are just sitting there tied to a railing or something, but if they are… I can barely even type it… taped to something or a child is holding it…. well then get out of my way because I’m going to run as far away as I can. I was going to embed a picture of balloons here, but I honestly can’t even bring myself to do a google search. Bleghhh… shiver. Oddly enough, I really want to see the new Pixar movie “UP!” but I’ll probably have to have someone see it before me and tell me if the balloons pop. I can handle them carrying a house as long as I know they don’t pop.
2. Flying Cockroaches. Cockroaches are fine when they are on the ground, but once they start flying, OH HELL NO. Once, when I was sixteen, I was getting dressed when a cockroach flew onto the back of the dress I was wearing. I just screamed and starting crying but it wouldn’t fly off, and I couldn’t really see it that well. It was horrible. I still have nightmares about that.
3. Alzheimer’s Disease or Having My Memory Altered Eternal-Sunshine-Style. This absolutely terrifies me. I would rather lose my hearing, sight, and both my legs than lose my memories. I’m serious. In high school, they told us that smoking weed could possibly lead to memory loss. I’m fairly certain that ISN’T EVEN TRUE, but it did successfully keep me away from it forever. I’ve never once blacked out while drinking (as in forgotten parts of the night), and I’m pretty sure if I ever do, it’ll be the last time I ever drink. I’m that terrified of losing my memory. You know how some people “drink to forget”? I can’t even fathom that thought. My entire consciousness is devoted to CONSTANTLY NOT FORGETTING. If I no longer remember who I am, I’m not entirely sure I would exist. In fact, I know I wouldn’t.
Ugh. I guess that’s the end of that post! I have a PRETTY EPIC LAST BEDA POST PLANNED, so GET EXCITED!
So in this post, I discussed a little about the tv shows I like. I think it’s time for an update (this is filled with spoilers, btw):
1. The Amazing Race:
So the little brothers are finally gone, thank GOD. Tammy using her Chinese to get the other teams seated in the back of the plane… GENIUS! And the first time they’ve used Chinese where it didn’t just annoy me. Last week Tammy and Victor just blabbered on in Mandarin forever, for no apparent reason except to make the other teams think they were getting extra information. For instance, in the calligraphy challenge (where… I’m sorry, JEN AND KEISHA’S characters were so much nicer than yours, Tammy!), they kept saying “you write and we copy” over and over again. Um… DUH. I think I want Jamie and Cara to win.
The Redheads
Yeah, they yell at people, but they are quite funny, and remember that one time the little brothers called them and they pretended to be the airline? PRICELESS. Plus, the fact that they were CRYING when they thought they were first to the pit-stop was heartwarming/hilarious! I WAS SO HAPPY. And then they get handed another envelope and are told to keep racing? OMG SUSPENSE! Ahh I’m so excited for next week.
2. America’s Next Top Model:
So… when Jay announced what they were doing for the photoshoot… invoking the sexy Carmen Miranda, my roommate and I both said “Oh. No. Allison!” Because we all know that girl cannot do sexy. Even when Jay said “Haven’t you ever looked across a room and said ‘oh boy, are you noticing me?’” Allison stared at him blankly. And then Jay goes on to say “Probably not.” LOL! But DAMN! SHE ROCKED THAT PHOTOSHOOT!
FIRST CALL OUT, BITCHES!
And yeah, as you can see from my caption. SHE GOT FIRST CALL OUT! Allison FTW!
3. Gossip Girl:
I only have one thing to say about this episode. There is no way, no how, not in this world or any other one, under no circumstance would Chuck Bass play basketball.
Is this a joke?
I know he’s wearing velour and that almost makes up for it, but no. Not at all. That ball has bounced on the ground. The dirty ground. Outside. On an outside court. Remember back when the world made sense and Chuck played squash and had sex?
The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead – they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.
The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation – qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.
A couple of things about this…
1. Entertaining and friendly… sure? I hope that’s just because I overuse the word “like.”
2. “Soft fabrics,” ewwww. No. I am super weird about really soft things. I hate them. You know those blankets that are like… just fleece? Ugh I’m getting grossed out just THINKING about them. Cashmere is okay… until it starts pilling. Once it starts to feel even a LITTLE fuzzy, no. Jersey sheets… the thought makes me want to gag.
3. Bright colors? I would say yes DEFINITELY a couple of years ago. Not so much now, but I’ll still go with it.
4. Sweet smells? Like… BROWNIES?
5. Planning… I think I am a bit of a planner. Actually, I don’t like to plan, I like people to tell me the plan. A day in advance. And then I show up. As far as exhausting myself, when you are as cool as I am… it’s hard not to.
6. “They enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way” This sentence seems odd to me. How do you help people INVISIBLY? Are OTHER PEOPLE DOING THAT? SHOWMESHOWMESHOWME!
But all of that was just so I could highlight this last line:
7. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation – qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.
So remember when I said the other day I nearly cried seeing tulips? Well I saw some more. And instead of crying… because that would be awkward for everyone, I took a picture of them.
Who needs a burger?
These tulips were in Madison Square Park, where the roommate and I got frozen custard at Shake Shack to try to beat the sudden heat. Where did it come from? The weather seriously jumped from the teens to the 30s instantly, with NO time at all in the glorious 20s we all know and love (Celcius, kids – learn it). This is not in my approval matrix.
More flowers for you!
Speaking of frozen custard… guess what flavor we got? The flavor of the day, which was SPRING FEVER! We took bets on what it was taste like, I thought it would taste like rainbow sherbet, the roommate thought it would taste like grass (which I seriously doubted), but we ended up asking so as not to be stuck licking wheatgrass flavored green goop in the middle of the day. So it happens that Spring Fever = Passion fruit, Orange, and Guava. Yeah, that’s right folks, I had POG flavored frozen custard in the middle of NYC.
Me and teh flowerz.
It looks like I cut my hair, there. But I didn’t. It’s still long. Also, I have to admit, I’ll be right sad when this BEDA thing is over. It’s been a good (albeit crazy) month.
Summer (as defined by Urban Dictionary) As I have a name that is… not just a name, I will not be posting the definitions that refer to the season unless I find them particularly amusing. And as it’s Urban Dictionary, I’m not going to post the ones that are extremely inappropriate… unless I find them particularly amusing. Also, I’m not correcting the spelling/grammar. Imagine a [sic] after everything.
The moment that every child, adolescent, teenager, and college student awaits. It’s supposed to be a time of rest, relaxation, vacation, and absolute fun. Regardless, it ends up being incredibly boring 90% percent of the time unless you enjoy sitting on your ass and playing Xbox 360 all week long. Which I don’t.
So true my jaded friend… so true.
a quirky girl whose beauty and spirit are only matched by her vivacious sex drive. she is always willing to have fun.
Yes, yes, yes, oh…
A young girl who is friendly and sweet. Yet deep down, she explodes with agressive qualities and amazing talent. This vivacous blond has phenomonal friends who care for her unconditionaly.
I’m not blonde. But other than that, okay.
In the United States, summer is used to reduce American high school shootings and increase illegal drug usage and partying. High school students would see this as education refuge due to the fact that summer is mainly the universal choice for education break and because school is the governments pathetic excuse to keep the kids away from parents who should be working and paying unreasonable amounts of taxes, bearing in mind that there are still people who graduate that are dumbshits, or in worst cases are most unfortunately stupider than before.
Wow. Nothing like Urban Dictionary, ya know?
Often a shy quiet girl , who when lets loose LETS LOOSE . She’ comes off as quiet insecure girl when actually she parties hard . She has this rocker attitude and doesn’t care what people think. She often has nice curves and a great personality. She probally won’t like you if your Boring Because Summer(s) often like to laugh.
Oh dear. I do like to laugh, though!
an asshole girl bitch that is obsessed with violence
Really? That’s like, the LAST thing I think of when I think of Summers. How odd.
I tried to make brownies tonight. Except I substituted hot cocoa mix for cocoa powder. Which, for the record, doesn’t work.
So, we all know I spend crazy amounts of time on Youtube just for the sheer entertainment, news, fangirling, etc, but I’d like to point you toward something else about Youtube that I love.
THE SONGS THAT GET STUCK IN MY HEAD ALL THE DAMN TIME AND I CAN’T GET THEM OUT BUT AT THE SAME TIME… DO I WANT TO?
Mrs. Nerimon – italktosnakes (Kristina)
Blink – charlieissocoollike (Charlie)
Book Eight – vlogbrothers (Hank)
Transformers Rap – smosh (Anthony and Ian)
My Name’s Hayley, Dog – hayleyghoover (Hayley)
I’m Saying Nothing – fiveawesomegirls (Lauren)
The Google Verb Meme Thing – michaelaranda (Michael)
Mario Kart Love Song – blinktwice4y (Sam)
awwww. love. I might add more over the rest of the day if I remember any.
So I missed a BEDA post a while back, and that means on one of these days, I have to post 2 blogs. That day is today.
But first, LOOK! A bunny!
SO. DAMN. ADORABLE. I'M DYING FROM THE CUTENESS.
Fun fact: The roommate and I bought egg dye stuff AGES ago, and haven’t yet dyed eggs.
I am still reading the first Octavian Nothing. I know, I need to step it up, but I’m trying to read that plus get a job plus clean the apartment, so it’s all a bit overwhelming. Every review I read says that this book is worth my effort, though, so I WILL get through it!
For anyone new, click the “Book List” on the top of the page, to see a list of the books I have read this year. I’m again trying to do the 50-books-in-a-year challenge. We’ll see if I make it this time!
On the Battle of the Books front, Graceling was kicked out by The Lincolns! Wow! I see that as an upset, but apparently Nancy Werlin (the judge) claims it was no contest. Interesting. Hopefully Chris Crutcher deems Abe and Mary inferior to THE HUNGER GAMES, as they’ll be facing off in the next round.
So the Books still in the battle are:
Octavian Nothing 2 vs. Chains
The Hunger Games vs. The Lincolns
Of those I have read… The Hunger Games. Crap. I guess I’m not doing so well. The books I read keep getting knocked out yo! I never finished Tender Morsels, as I was reading it in B&N and then it got beat by Chains, but I was LOVING it, so I might buy it or will eventually finish it. And once I get through Octavian Nothing 1 I can move on to Octavian Nothing 2! Ah, well. I guess we’ll see who makes it in that round. If Chains wins that round and I have to read yet ANOTHER book, I think I will scream.
So… you guys are probably wondering what I am doing here on the east coast if I’m from Hawaii. And the answer is, yeah, I have no idea what I’m doing here. No, I’m just kidding. There are MANY REASONS WHY I AM HERE!
(for those of you who just started reading because of BEDA, here’s a little something to help you catch up)
1. In May of 2008 I graduated from Occidental College in Los Angeles with a degree in English and Comp Lit, and a minor in Chinese. I had no idea what I wanted to do with said degree. I asked a bunch of people, most of which said “English Teacher, obvs” and to whom I said “Ew no, I gave my English teachers so much hell in high school, and so I KNOW karma would come and bite me in the ass.” Because it totally would. But one person suggested publishing, of which I knew absolutely nothing about, except for like, what they show you in The Devil Wears Prada (wait, that WASN’T a documentary?).
2. I went to the University of Denver’s Publishing Institute that summer to LEARN HOW TO BE A PUBLISHER! If anyone is considering that program, I would still recommend it, regardless of the fact that I am still unemployed because all my friends I met there already have jobs (yeah, I’m not bitter)! I’m sure that people with connections would be able to be successful in the field without going to an institute, but for someone like me who knew literally NO ONE with the job I wanted, and NO ONE in NYC, it was amazing. I met so many people with many different experiences, and it kind of opened up my idea of what a publishing house did. I left there realizing that I really wanted to be involved in the marketing / publicity / sales side, and NOT the editorial side (even though I was decent during the workshops, it’s just not what thrills me). And that I wanted to deal with Children’s and YA literature. (That should come as no surprise, to any of you who are following the Battle of the Books and read this blog to see how I’ve been following it like it’s March freakin’ Madness.)
SPEAKING OF THE BOOK BATTLE… HUNGER GAMES MADE IT TO ROUND 3! THANK YOU JOHN GREEN! Yes. I’m so happy. If I haven’t sold you on The Hunger Games by now, I can only guess that it is not your type of book at all, and I’ll have to tell you to read anything by John Green (except those coloring books, as he didn’t write those) as a thank you for him picking THE HUNGER GAMES over We Are the Ship! HOO HA!
below is a huge <digression>. just warning you.
(I was reading something about book blogs recently, and a bookseller was complaining that book bloggers always link to Amazon whenever they talk about a book, and never to Indie Bound [an independent bookstore aggregator-type thing - except aggregator isn't the right word, basically you type in a book, and it tells you the nearest indie bookstore where you can buy it], and to that I say… um, there aren’t independent bookstores in Hawaii. I just tried it out for The Hunger Games using my home zip code, and it told me to fly to California. Thanks. Very helpful.)
Plus, for anyone who lives in Hawaii… the 25+ dollar free shipping Amazon has is an absolute GOD SEND. Anyone from the rock in the middle of the ocean knows that shipping fees are this nasty thing that creeps up on you all the damn time, the same way Metro North schedules ruled ruined my life when I lived in Westchester.
FOR EXAMPLE: For my parents’ birthdays this year, my brother and I tried to buy them a gazing ball and a gazing ball stand:
That was not the stand we had in mind, but you get the idea.
And after we bought both items, the companies contacted us personally and told us that “because we are shipping to Hawaii, we are going to need to charge you an additional 40 dollars for shipping.” Not. Cool. That’s on TOP of the 20 dollar shipping we were already paying. The damn ball only cost like 30 bucks. I’m not going to spend 60 dollars to ship a 30 dollar ball to another U.S. STATE. SERIOUSLY?
okay. it’s over. back to the point. </digression>
3. So I moved to NYC to become a publisher! And everything worked out perfectly! RIGHT? No. Apparently the economy was like “Hey Summer! F*CK YOU!” and decided that now was as good a time as any to absolutely go down the crapper. Love. ly. Publishing houses were laying off people like crazy, and it’s just NOT a good time to be a recent college graduate. But I haven’t given up yet! I’m still trying and trying and trying and going on interviews and sucking up to people and sleeping in and eating fast food and spending my days on youtube and WAIT, this all doesn’t sound too bad! Well, I guess because it isn’t. I’m living in an amazing city with seriously fascinating weather (I’d tell you about last week when I saw planted tulips blooming for the first time and almost cried, but that’s a different story for a different time), with one of my best friends, and I’m still right at the beginning of the rest of my life! That might all sound really weird and strangely optimistic, but I really do feel like things will work themselves out eventually, and in the meantime I’ll keep trying to find the silver lining in being unemployed and broke in the most expensive city in the United States!
Hey, I might not have a television, but I have YouTube.
I’m unemployed, but the Apple Store on 5th is open 24 hours!
I’m eating ramen for lunch, but RAMEN IS EFFING AMAZING!
let’s try to break that shall we? It’s late, and I’m late for BEDA again, so let’s spice it up!
GOOD MORNING STARSHINE, THE EARTH SAYS HELLO!
1. You know those things you see and think to yourself, “I have never done that before but I think I’d be really good?” That’s how I feel about Olympic diving.
2. I JUST ATE ALL OF THE CHOCOLATE THAT MY MOM SENT ME FOR EASTER (hahaha yes, I’m a child) AND I’M SAD!
3. I don’t understand how people with long nails type. My nails are a wee bit longer than usual, and I keep making typos. It’s embarrassing.
4. I sometimes use “typo” as an excuse when I just can’t spell something. Even in longhand. “Summer, did you just spell ‘hoard’ with a ‘w’ on this note to our letter carrier?” “WHAT? NO, THAT ISATYPO!”
5. I am very optimistic for a 22-year-old girl without a job.
6. This site is amazing. Gossip Girl fans, check it. STAT.
7. Speaking of Gossip Girl, where the eff was Eric? I mean, doesn’t he live, like, somewhere? Shouldn’t Chuck have ran into him in the hall while ditching his ballerina? Ah, whatever, I’ll suspend reality for this show. Hell, I’d watch Serena do a crossword for 43 minutes if Alex Patsavas did the music.
8. About four people a day find this blog because they google “500 days of summer torrent” (and by putting the word “torrent” in there, I’ve just upped my count, but whatever, If they are here, maybe they’ll love me, dig?). Guys, that movie comes out in July. AND AS SOON AS THAT MOVIE IS AVAILABLE FOR ILLEGAL DOWNLOAD, I will fo shizz let you all know.
9. So our Battle of the Books video… is spreading faster than an STD in a whorehouse. LOVE IT. So many people are posting it on their personal blogs and I’m just so happy that everyone appreciates it as much as we do! If you haven’t checked it out yet, please do so! It’s probably one of my proudest accomplishments to date (that list includes graduating from college and learning all the lyrics to Bottom of the Ocean by Miley Cyrus, yes it does).
oooooooooh here’s a fun game!
WHY I ALWAYS WIN NEVER HAVE I EVER:
I’ve never…
*been asked to prom
*eaten a plum
*been to Europe
*watched LOST
*been in an argument with my brother (no one will believe me, I’m sure, but seriously, ask him).
*been to summer camp
*gotten a traffic ticket/parking ticket or been in an accident (even as a passenger)
*had a fake ID
*read Pride & Prejudice
*spent more than sixty dollars on a pair of jeans
*eaten at Genki Sushi
*broken a bone/sprained anything
*had the chicken pox
*lost everything on my hard drive (because I actually back up, fools)
*played in snow
hiYAH! and… SLJ is going to update the new battle today. AND IT’S THE HUNGER GAMES vs. WE ARE THE SHIP! Gah I’m so worried…
Whenever I tell people from the mainland (That’s what we call all you contiguous US types. Alaska says “Lower 48,” we say “mainland.”) that I used to dance hula, they are always like OMG YOU DID!? THAT’S SO HOT/SEXY/COOL CAN YOU DOITRIGHTNOW/SHOWME? as if it’s a party trick I whip out during lulls in conversation like those guys who can tell you pi to the 49th digit. It’s not.
Plus, I have a feeling they are thinking of this:
Which is not what I did.
Conversely, when I tell people from Hawaii that I danced hula, they look at me like I’m INSANE. “But… you’re so NOT LOCAL. You’re SO PALE! You went to private school! You’re currently living in NEW JERSEY! How can YOU have danced HULA???”
Um, like this?
THE HULA YEARS:
When I was seven, I took up ballet because I loved dancing. For our first performance, the volunteer mom backstage had us lined up incorrectly. I told her that her little index card was wrong and we should be in a different order, but she didn’t believe me and we went out in the wrong order. I. Was. So. Mad. There were a couple of places in the dance where we had to move backwards or forwards to change formation, and it was a complete mess because of the line problem. (Let me add that at the time I was FURIOUS and didn’t understand why she didn’t just listen to me, but now that I’m twenty-two, I realize that I probably wouldn’t have listened to the psycho 7 year old in the beginner class either.) Now, I don’t want to say that this is the reason I quit ballet, but maybe it had something to do with it.
Aside from ballet, my options were hula or drill team. The latter of which, frankly, still scares me a little.
Altogether. Too. Happy.
I decided to take up hula, which I LOVED. I danced in the normal beginner class for about a year, and then I was asked to move up into the class that goes to competitions and performs… everywhere. From when I was eight until the summer I turned fourteen, hula pretty much ran my life. We performed on cruise ships three to four times a month. We performed on base. We performed in shopping malls. I traveled to Alabama, DC, NYC, Virginia, and Florida to perform for different hula trips. I spent all summer practicing for competitions and never cut my hair. It was amazing.
Since this was in the ’90s, I
1. Do not have a million pictures of this time in my life as it was before digital film
2. Do not have any video of me dancing save on VHS tapes which are at home
3. Cannot find any competition footage on youtube that is old enough to include me
(By the way, we didn’t just go to competitions. We effing won them. There are a LOT of politics involved in the hula judging world, sometimes even more than in Olympic team gymnastics (oh snap, yeah, I went there), but we won first place TWICE and second every other year. When I tell people I performed in competitions, they sometimes ask “well what if you make a mistake?” Dude, we don’t make mistakes. We kicked major ASS is what I’m basically saying.)
Anyway, here are some photos I do have of those years:
notice the lack of coconuts?
There are a ton more people in my hula group, btw. It's not just me.
I took a break from hula for two years (that’s code for “cut my hair”), eighth grade and freshman year of high school, and then in sophomore and junior year I danced again, this time in the older performing group. This older group goes to the competition called Merrie Monarch (which people seem to love a lot more than Keiki Hula, the kiddie version) so I could find a lot more footage on youtube of that. I still couldn’t find any years that I was in, but here is a video of my hula group in last year’s Merrie Monarch.
Do not even get me STARTED on the atrocious graphics they have going on in this video. Could they not afford After Effects? The part where the cameraman appears to have DROPPED the camera at the beginning? That thing with the red boxes that is hideous and wastes valuable screen real estate? It’s all so awful.
(NB: At the beginning, they are chanting/singing what is called an oli, and then they go on to the part where they dance. Before you ask, yes, I still know a ton of these oli(s) and can’t wait for the day when I’m 40 and drunk at someone’s bachelorette party in Atlantic City, because I’m sure that’s when I’m going to finally let them all out. Classy.)
And here is another video I found. I’m not in this one either, but every year my halau (that’s what a hula group is called, look at you, learning something!) puts on a Christmas Show, and the two performing groups (both the young group and the older one) along with the boy group are in this medley of Hawaiian/Christmas Songs that opens the show. This show, and especially the opening medley were one of my favorite things all year, and I decided to include this video so you all could see how fun it was, and also to explain why I know hula-esque choreography to a number of Christmas songs, including but not limited to: Silver Bells, Jolly Old St. Nicholas, Up on the Housetop, and Little Drummer Boy (holla!). Some of you who know me IRL might have actually seen a couple of these in person.
I’m so glad they still do the turn, turn, downclapsnap MERRY CHRISTMAS! thing at the end, because why change a good thing?
Also, nothing like a Christmas video in April to end this post, LOL. I guess that’s all for tonight. From all of us to all of you… ALOHA!
